No time to read? No problem. Tanya includes an audio version, so she’ll read it to you!
Multi-billion-dollar Industries have been created to serve this illusive and subjective
thing called happiness. We’re told that happiness is the goal and we’re inundated with
messages telling us to buy something or take something to look better or feel better…
because looking better and feeling better apparently leads to happiness.
Duke University conducted a study on happiness that revealed some interesting points.
Happiness is, generally, a temporary experience that’s dependent on circumstances
and situations. For example, we might be happy when we’re having an ice-cream cone,
but not so happy if the scoop falls off the cone!
The Duke University study came up with 8 Factors of Happiness and I prefer to call
them factors of contentment because they encourage us to foster effective skills to cope
with the challenges of life in a healthy way.
- Nursing a grudge can be a contributing factor to depression. Our mental health
can be better served when we can accept an apology never received and forgive
someone who isn’t sorry. - Pre-occupation with past failures and mistakes can lead to depression. Your
mental health can be better served when you stay in the present moment and be
thankful for every breath you take. - Ruminating on things you can’t change is a waste of time & energy. Focus on
what you can change & control. - During stressful times it’s tempting to become withdrawn and reclusive. Stay
involved and active every day. - Everyone is dealing with life’s sorrow and misfortune. Refuse to indulge in self-
pity when life hands you a raw deal. - All you need is love! How many songs have been written to express this
sentiment? Cultivate love in your life and stop keeping the company of people
who don’t cultivate love in their lives. - There’s a gap between expectation and ability. That gap can sometimes equal
feelings of inadequacy. Keep your expectations realistic and stop exposing
yourself to images and messages that are unattainable. - Self-centered, egotistical people score lowest in any test that measures
happiness. We are conditioned to be better – look better, perform better, wear
better clothes, make more money, win-win-win at any cost. It’s exhausting to
feed the ego! Instead, stay focused on self-care to counteract traits of egoism.
Focus on love, compassion, humour, and loyalty in your life.
And always remember the benefits of having Unconditional Acceptance for
yourself.
Just by the fact that you’re alive, you can acknowledge that there’s no valid reason why
you can’t fully accept yourself. The complexity of ‘self’ can’t be evaluated. There’s a
tremendous emotional advantage to accepting yourself.
Unconditional self-acceptance is NOT an excuse for self-serving, inconsiderate behaviour. Living in a social group, you
accept that your acts have consequences. Regardless of what you do, however, you remain a unique, complex, fallible human who’s in a constant state of change. You can also acknowledge that – for these reasons of uniqueness, complexity, and change – you cannot validly rate your totality, personhood, or “self.” Traits and behaviours can be evaluated, measured, and improved, using the approach of “what’s within my control?”
You can get the “control” tool + lots of other tips & techniques on our complimentary Digital Mental Health Toolkit:
May the force be with you,
and remember…
YOU are the force!
Always with love & compassion,
Tanya